Dating question reassurance relationship dating in new york for women
Still, to calm the asker’s anxiety, they’ll come out biased toward inviting the reassuring answer.
These questions are not necessarily meant to coerce.
He tells me he loves me and we’ll be fine, but can I trust that what he’s saying is truly how he feels? Am I going to push him away by my need for reassurance? After all, how do you believe him when he’s simply repeating the words you’ve asked him to say?
Because they don’t understand the REAL reason women need reassurance, men don’t automatically support that need.
Still, on the receiving end, such questions don’t feel simple.
You need to regularly make deposits of effort and love in order for a woman’s need for reassurance to be fulfilled so that she feels loved in the relationship.
Yes, these questions are true expressions of our anxiety, but they’re also blunt instruments. In close relationships, we go through all sorts of feelings.
We owe our partner honest answers to their earnest questions, but when the questions are framed over-simplistically, we don’t know how to be both honest and reassuring.
This fear — which takes the form of jealousy or clinginess — is generally a reflexive response to emotional trauma in past relationships, including with parents, siblings, and former lovers.
Old wounds prevent one from feeling secure in the present, in spite of contrary evidence.
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In , John Gray explains that one of a woman’s primary love needs is reassurance. When a man repeatedly shows he cares, understands, and is devoted to his partner, her need for reassurance is fulfilled. However, when he pulls away and withdraws emotionally, temporarily NOT showing that he cares, her need for reassurance naturally makes itself known. A relationship isn’t a one-time fee investment; it’s more like a subscription service.