How to stop dating a guy
This is why I chose to do my masters research in the area. In the form of more serious, long term relationships, we avoid "the talk." We silently remove ourselves from the relationship emotionally.
(Ironically, when I was writing the final chapter of my thesis, I got harshly dumped. ) Anyway, ending a relationship — whether it be a casual one or a marriage — is thick with anxiety, guilt, and conflict. We have unenthusiastic sex (or no sex) then lie awake next to them for the remainder of the night. I used to say "I just don't like hurting people." I would then phase people out accordingly or slowly distance myself from them emotionally, which was easier on my conscience but far harder on my exes.
Here’s why: NO MORE NEEDY VIBE THAT PUSHES MEN AWAYWhen you have all your hopes and dreams wrapped up in any one guy, it’s natural to fear losing him…and losing you.
You become obsessed with every phone call, jump when he says jump, and change from the attractive, interesting woman who intrigued him into someone needy and clingy he feels pressured to check in with.
We always focus on how to heal a broken heart after being dumped, but we never acknowledge how crappy it is to be the heartbreaker.In casual relationships, we stop answering text messages or provide short, uninterested answers. I've since realized that sure, I don't like hurting people, but what's really happening is that I don't like guilt and anxiety and conflict, so I ignore or avoid the "problem" to gain the illusion that "it's" (they've) gone away And the reality is that they might go away, but they do so wondering what the heck just happened (and sometimes send a string of angry text messages). So before I offer some tips on breaking up with someone, I want to qualify this. I've had my heart smashed to bits twice, and I'm pretty sure I've smashed a couple.I've been on the receiving end of a casual relationship ending over text message, Facebook Chat, the "phase-out," and the "I'm gonna drink few glasses of wine while you tell me you're seeing someone more seriously now and we can no longer talk." I get it.Yesterday morning I signed onto GChat and received the following message from a friend: “I officially got dumped by someone I wasn’t dating.” Whoo, boy.Apparently, my friend had gone on two dates with a guy — fine dates! And then, out of nowhere, she gets a long, kindly-worded email from him explaining that things weren’t going to work out, but that she was “a nice girl,” etc etc.